Bridgekeeper

Oh, ow! Did you dress her up like this? I am your king. Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. I dunno. Must be a king.

How do you know she is a witch?

Well, I didn't vote for you. Well, how'd you become king, then? We found them. Burn her! Camelot!

• What a strange person.
• Burn her!

Am I right?

It's only a model. What a strange person. Well, I didn't vote for you. The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

We want a shrubbery!!

Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! Well, what do you want? I'm not a witch.

1. You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
2. The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
3. What a strange person.
4. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart.

Am I right?

You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Well, we did do the nose. Well, what do you want?

Am I right?

What a strange person. How do you know she is a witch? Now, look here, my good man.

We found them. We found them. He hasn't got shit all over him. You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

What a strange person. Look, my liege! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! What do you mean? The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. But you are dressed as one…

And this isn't my nose. This is a false one. Burn her anyway! The nose? We found them. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Camelot! Why do you think that she is a witch?

But you are dressed as one… You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Well, I didn't vote for you. What a strange person. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? What do you mean?

It's only a model. Well, she turned me into a newt. What do you mean? How do you know she is a witch? Well, Mercia's a temperate zone!

I have to push the pram a lot. Burn her anyway! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Why? Well, she turned me into a newt.

We found them. Well, I got better. Well, how'd you become king, then? Well, I didn't vote for you. Where'd you get the coconuts? Well, I didn't vote for you.

Well, I got better. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Look, my liege!

We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. A newt? Who's that then? It's only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Well, I didn't vote for you.

Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! What a strange person. On second thoughts, let's not go there. It is a silly place. Burn her anyway! Oh, ow!

Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! On second thoughts, let's not go there. It is a silly place. Burn her!

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Well, she turned me into a newt. Who's that then? Look, my liege! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

Bring her forward! You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! Burn her!